It Goes Both Ways

D11's first day is today, and for a lot of Colorado Springs households, this morning probably involved some combination of nerves, rushed breakfasts, and at least one person (not necessarily the kid) feeling more anxious than they expected. That's not unusual. Back-to-school anxiety is real, and it doesn't only belong to children.

Experts and advocates in Colorado Springs have noted something that tends to catch parents off guard: kids are good at picking up on their parents' stress. When parents are visibly worried about the school transition — about whether their child will be okay, whether they'll make friends, whether the year will go well — kids often absorb that energy. High parental anxiety can increase a child's own anxiety, regardless of whether the child was anxious to begin with.

That's not a guilt trip; it's a starting point. Managing your own response to the transition is one of the most useful things you can do for your child.

What Local Advocates Recommend

Safe Passage, a Colorado Springs children's advocacy center, shared practical guidance for families navigating back-to-school transitions. Their advice focuses on reducing surprise and building structure:

Talk to your kids about what to expect before it happens. Even older kids benefit from knowing the schedule, who their teacher is, and what the first day will look like. Surprises create anxiety; information reduces it. If something is changing this year — a new school, a new teacher, a new classroom — name it out loud before the day arrives.

Build the routine before school starts, not on the first day. Setting an alarm, choosing clothes the night before, and packing the backpack in advance all lower the cognitive load on the morning itself. A visual checklist posted somewhere visible can help kids feel a sense of control and completion. These small acts of preparation do meaningful work.

Keep the end-of-day check-in brief and specific. The instinct to ask "How was school?" is understandable, but it's hard to answer. A child who's already tired from a day of regulation doesn't have a simple answer to that question. Instead, try "What was one good thing that happened?" or "Was there a hard part?" or "Who did you sit with at lunch?" Specific questions give kids a concrete starting point and tend to produce more honest conversations.

Warning Signs Worth Knowing

Some level of back-to-school anxiety is normal and expected. Kids get nervous. The first week is hard. Routines take time to feel natural. That's all part of it.

The concern arises when anxiety doesn't improve as the routine settles in. Specific signals to watch for:

Sleep changes that persist beyond the first couple of weeks. If your child is having consistent difficulty falling asleep, waking frequently, or sleeping significantly more than usual, it's worth paying attention.

School refusal or escalating reluctance to attend. Some mornings being hard is normal. A pattern of strong resistance, physical complaints without a clear medical cause, or frequent requests to stay home is a different thing.

Changes in relationships at home. If your usually communicative kid has become significantly more withdrawn, or if there are more conflicts than usual, anxiety about school can sometimes show up sideways in family dynamics.

If these patterns last several weeks, it's a sign that more support may help. Start with a conversation with your child's teacher or school counselor, who can tell you whether they're seeing similar patterns at school.

Resources

Colorado has a 24/7 mental health support line. If you or your child are in a hard place and need to talk to someone, you can call or text 988 to reach the Colorado Mental Health Lifeline at any time.

For COS-specific family mental health resources, Safe Passage serves Colorado Springs families and can connect you with appropriate support. Your child's pediatrician is also a good starting point for conversations about anxiety and whether a referral to a therapist or counselor makes sense.

What's Next

D11 is in school today. D20 starts August 17. The first few weeks of any school year have their own rhythm — things that feel rough on day three often feel completely normal by week three.

The most useful thing you can do tonight is give your kid a chance to decompress before you ask about the day. Let them have a snack, do something they like, and come to the conversation on their own terms. A specific question after dinner tends to work better than an interview in the car.

If you're finding the transition harder than expected, that's also okay. The 988 Mental Health Lifeline is there for parents too.